Monday, April 24, 2006

Only the Brave

And for the critical, here is my nohari window.

Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Friday, April 21, 2006

Praise me, Seymour!

Good news! Now you can share your opinion of me in my Johari Window. Afterwards, my main question will be was it as good for you as it was for me?


Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Believe it or not, I'm finally back!

Here's the situation: Until I'm elected, I need to keep a day job to pay for the campaign. These past few weeks, I've been bogged down with work.


Also, I've noticed that numbers are down. The only solution is to pick them back up. Not in a boyscout/old-lady kind of way, but in a caffiene way. This means advertise. Do your country a favor, and place "Alex Ludd for President" flyers all over your town, workplace, and even the sewers (so the Ninja Turtles see them). I'm going to want photographs in by the end of the month proving you did it.

Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Monday, March 06, 2006

More Notes to Recent Visitors

1. While I'm no doctor, I don't think it causes blindness. If you're worried about your eyesight (or your tennis elbow, for that matter) I suggest you see a professional about it, not a blog.

2. Although I am hot, I am not a girl. I am not even underage. As a legal disclaimer, let me make perfectly clear that I do not encourage underage pornography.

3. I have never even met your daughter, and am not interested in her that way.

4. Regarding #3 above, let me assure you that I know some very hot women who are not jailbait. My blogroll gives evidence.

5. I do not have the Charles in Charge season DVDs for sale, but I commend you on your taste in viewing.

6. I am not in jail, nor am I romantically involved with anyone in jail. I think I resent your stereotypes about politicians.

7. I seriously doubt your daughter "needs" it.

8. For those who came looking for "hottie," you've come to the right place. When you're finished here, may I also reccomend Cindy's blog?





Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

A note to the recent visitor

A message for the person I spotted recently on my incoming links:
I have neither dog nor webcam. You're wasting your time here.



Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Reliable Emails

Recently, I've been getting emails from all sorts of people that I don't know. Some guy in Australia is willing to give me $10 million, as long as 90% goes to charities. Evidently, his family would keep it for themselves instead of giving it to charity, so he'd rather trust a complete stranger in another country with an email address he picked at random. About five or six girls with different names sent me the exact same email offering me an extra 2-12 inches. The subjects and bodies of the emails were the same, but the emails had different senders, and different signatures. Oddly enough, only some of them were from hotmail accounts. I've also been getting lots of emails about "free photoshop video tutorials 8hours", which strikes me as odd, because Photoshop can't be used to make videos (just still images), nor do I own Photoshop.

Anyhow, I've pretty much figured out how it all goes together. Using the $1,000,000 that doesn't go to charity, I can buy a copy of photoshop. I will use this, along with the skills learned in the free tutorials, to give myself an extra 2-12 inches (or more, if I want)!

Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Campaign News

Just a brief update, to let you know that the forum has the most recent campaign news. Due to the sensitive nature of the post, I am not posting a new link to the Alex Ludd forums, knowing that the faithful future constituency will know how to get there.


Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Thursday, February 16, 2006

True Love

For anyone who didn't get enough valentines, I offer this:

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him
sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He
appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he
wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are
you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee."Do you remember 20 years ago when we
were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do," she replies.

The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when
your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"

"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued, "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my
face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for
20 years?"

"I remember that too," she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have gotten out
today."



Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Sunday, February 12, 2006

The Future of Technology

Though a good president needs good strategies to beat his opponents, and good plans to keep the country from being bombed, he also needs to keep the economy good. For this reason, I have decided to invest time and money into the latest technologies, in hopes that it will keep the economy good enough for me to get reelected. I've included a list of technologies that I believe will be beneficial, along with explanations of why I chose them.


  • Redtooth - Like Bluetooth, this allows wireless communications. The difference is, since it's red, it goes further, and is less noticable in certain places, such as the circus, or the theatre.

  • USB Floppy Drives - A drive that plugs into a computer's USB port that allows the usage of floppy disks. A single floppy disk holds only 1.4 Megabytes, but due to their inexpensive nature, a person could realistically have several thousand, provided they can store them, thus giving them a few gigabytes in which to put all their important JPGs and MP3s.

  • Medical Science - This will help me recover if, during my term, I am injured. This will take some of the load off of my Vice President's job.

  • PokéFurbyMon - A new combination of Pokémon and Furby, this will sell like hotcakes. I'll make a fortune, and the economy will be saved! Hurrah!

  • Charles in Charge season 2 DVD - Like PokéFurbyMon, this is guaranteed to be a best seller, except for adults. Stated by some guy I met on the street to be the product everyone wants, I'm sure this will sell like hotcakes, thus making me a fortune and saving the economy! Hurrah! (It IS technology, because it's a DVD)

  • Electic StaplerMatic - Basically, it's a stapler that automatically lines up the paper for you and staples it at just the press of a button. It can also sort papers by color, weight, and saturated fat content.

  • Singing Wall Bass - Just what everybody wants, this toy looks remarkably similar to a real fish, and will start singing as soon as you press a button, consider pressing a button, or even notice that there is a button. It also sings if you enter the room. While this product doesn't have MUCH market for deaf people, even they want it to show off their 1337 PHISHING skills.



So basically, technology is where the future is at. The reason I didn't put VCRs on the list, despite their inherent functionality, is because they never stop flashing 12:00. It's driving me crazy.

Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Friday, January 20, 2006

In my own defense

I know. Really, I do. I am like Santa Claus -- I see you when you're mocking. I know when you're talking about me. It's a big responsibility, really. I can't help knowing that my sparse words have disappointed the minions, fans, and hyper-bright alike. (You know which category YOU belong in. Don't tell the others, though; they like to think they are hyper-bright, too, you know.)

All I can say in my own defense is... well, I'm worth the wait.

Ok, that didn't come out as humble as I intended. What I meant to say was this: I'm hot. You know it's true.

Whoops, I did it again.

I guess I need to work on humility. It's a lot harder for people like us to be humble, you know. So I guess for now I'll just have to ask for your forgiveness. I'll try to do better... because YOU are worth it.


Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Yum?





Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Cindy said I'm a slacker.

Alex Ludd says --

I guess Cindy's right. But late, not never, is the meme she tagged me for.

It's like a Christmas card a day too late
Spanks JJ. I finally did it. (Actually I did it yesterday but the computer crashed and I lost it.)

You get one wish of anything, what would you ask for?
To be J-lo's bar of soap.

Wish for 6 more wishes.
1. To be Cindy's webcam.
2. To have Trixie's mind.
3. To have Amy's education.
4. To have Christopher Walken's money.
5. To have Kos's readership.
6. To have W's job.

What animal would you be?
A stallion. Or should I choose something that would be more of a change?

Something you want to do in your life:
Have an airport named after me.

One song you could listen to over and over again:
Like a Virgin.

Coke or Pepsi?
Shasta chocolate soda with a scoop of french vanilla ice cream. Why be dull?

Something you currently desire:
Prime rib. Or maybe some sort of beef to eat.

One good deed you've done lately:
Prevented an alien invasion.

A funny moment in your life:
Took four girls to the prom without any of them finding out that I took the others.

Tagging:
1. Hammy
2. Andrea
3. Julia
4. Joey
5. Empress


Sunday, December 25, 2005

Amy... charming, lovely, delightful, wise, and brilliant...

... tagged me. She is right, I have not blogged enough. I cannot, for reasons of national security, explain the whole thing, but suffice it to say that being on the run from assassins while attempting to perfect world peace and work out agreements with alien civilizations leaves little time for self promotion.

The meme calls me back to my domestic duties:


Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so:

1. kirk
2. shelly
3. cat
4. amy
5. alex
Then you get to select five people to pass the love on to so they can do this meme, like so:

1. Trixie
2. CaptBinky
3. Gunny Walker
4. EPJ
5. Orange Coffee Gurl
6. Dave

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Suzette. I had to lie about my age, and that's still coming back to haunt me. Cindy, I confess, I used my false age on okcupid; if I were really that young I wouldn't be eligible for president. So of course, I must be 35.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Sleeping, if I recall correctly.

Five snacks you enjoy:
1. J-(e)L(L)O
2. Hot apple pie.
3. Tacos
4. Burritos
5. Edible Underwear

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
1. Beethoven's 5th Symphony
2. Hail to the Chief
3. This Old Man
4. Massochism Tango
5. Theme Song to I Love Lucy

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Jennifer Lopez
2. Run for President
3. Buy Slovetsia
4. Create my own theme park, called Luddland. It would feature statues of the faces of all the presidents, including myself. You would enter through the mouth of a giant mural of me, lying in a sexy pose.
5. Free the Genie

Five bad habits:
1. Jennifer's habit of hooking up with the wrong guys.
2. Johnny Depp's habit of forgetting to bathe.
3. The French.
4. My dog's habit of getting too friendly with your leg.
5. Oscar's grouchiness.

Five things you like doing:
1. Jennifer Lopez
2. running for president
3. chasing cars
4. singing C is for Cookie at the mall
5. Negotiating with terrorists

Five things you would never wear again:
1. An underwire bra.
2. Something dug out of Jennifer's trash
3. An "I love N-Sync" tee shirt
4. A diaper
5. Glow perfume, by Jennifer Lopez

Five favorite toys:
1. Dolly, the inflatable sheep
2. Jenny-poo
3. Happy Meal toys
4. Tickle Me Elmo
5. Betsy Wetsy

Good news for Christmas!

Alex Ludd says --

I got three of the things I asked for for Christmas!
When I got the first, I took it.
Thta's when I got the second.
Now the third is jealous.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Eat my presidential dust!

Alex Ludd says --
I have a Christmas present for all my loyal fans. It's forums. Reach them by clicking here or typing in http://alexluddforums.sytes.net/ in your address bar. Also, there's a link to it in the sidebar. Furthermore, you can now reach my blog by typing in http://alexludd.sytes.net/ if you're bored with my current address, though that will work too.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Dear Santa...

Alex Ludd says --
Dear Santa:
Here is the list of things I want this year. I have been a very good boy this year, I only boxed my sister's ears 2 times this year. I haven't been to jail, either.

  • 45" Plasma HDTV

  • Hilary Duff

  • Deep Impact DVD

  • 13 Inches

  • The Presidency

  • 15 lbs of Skittles

  • Wyoming

  • A 48-month vacation to Wash. DC

  • A $20 gift certificate to Mrs. Fields

  • My own secretary

  • A white house

  • Pokémon season 1 DVD

  • A diploma

  • Mrs. Johnson, my 10th grade English teacher

  • A pair of combat boots

  • Cowboy pajamas

  • A pair of 7-ft-tall bodyguards

  • To be #44

  • A partridge in a pear tree

  • A plate of tacos

  • Viagra

  • A 30 gigapixel digital camera

  • A first lady

  • A new cellphone with a built in 30 gigapixel digital camera

  • A pony



Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Foreign Policy

Alex Ludd says -- No good politician can be entirely without foreign policy. Hell, even Carter had foreign policy. So now, I have foreign policy.

1. Australia sucks. Except that crocodile guy. I think we need to get him out of there and then kill their firstborn sons, or at least mail them some torn-up paper-maché and an empty whiskey bottle.

2. Asia is too short. We need new skewed maps that show it to be somewhat taller than it really is.

3. That prince guy from some country I've never heard of that tried to steal my credit card should be reported to Interpol. Then, we throw rocks at him and hope he goes away.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

one ringy dingy

Alex Ludd says --


THREE WOMEN -- ONE GERMAN, ONE JAPANESE AND A HILLBILLY -- WERE SITTING
NAKED IN A SAUNA.

SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND.

THE GERMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED
AT HER QUESTIONINGLY.

"THAT WAS MY PAGER," SHE SAID. "I HAVE A MICRO-CHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM."

A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE JAPANESE WOMEN LIFTED HER PALM TO
HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I
HAVE A MICRO-CHIP IN MY HAND."

THE HILLBILLY WOMAN FELT DECIDEDLY LOW TECH. NOT TO BE OUT-DONE, SHE
DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE.

SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH
A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER BEHIND.

THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.

THE HILLBILLY WOMAN FINALLY SAID,

"WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT. I'M GETTIN' A FAX."

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Alex Ludd is --



FACT:
You embody the German principle of Konstantzusammenschaft, which is best described in English (without using the obscure English word "sammenschaft") as "eternal togethermanship".
The Loverboy
Random Gentle Love Master (RGLMm)

Well-liked. Well-established. You are The Loverboy. Loverboys thrive in committed, steady relationships--as opposed to, say, Playboys, who want sex without too much attachment.

You've had many relationships and nearly all of them have been successful. You're a nice guy, you know the ropes, and even if you can be a little hasty with decisions, most girls think of you as a total catch. Your hastiness comes off as spontaneity most of the time anyhow, making you especially popular in your circle of friends, too.

Your exact opposite:
The Billy Goat

Deliberate Brutal Sex Dreamer
You know not to make the typical Loverboy mistake of choosing someone who appreciates your good humor and popularity, but who offers nothing in return. You belong with someone outgoing, independent, and creative. Otherwise, you'll get bored. And then instead of surprising her with flowers or a practical joke, you'll surprise her by leaving.


ALWAYS AVOID: The Nymph

CONSIDER: The Window Shopper, The Peach


Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: alex_ludd


Really, if we're going to be honest about it, very few of the questions offered an accurate answer choice. The only question that allowed me to give completely accurate and honest answers was the one that asked for three adjectives. I put "perfect," "brilliant," and "humble." I was torn between "humble" and "gorgeous" for my third, but I figured gorgeous was a foregone conclusion.