svētdiena, februāris 19, 2006

A note to the recent visitor

A message for the person I spotted recently on my incoming links:
I have neither dog nor webcam. You're wasting your time here.



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Reliable Emails

Recently, I've been getting emails from all sorts of people that I don't know. Some guy in Australia is willing to give me $10 million, as long as 90% goes to charities. Evidently, his family would keep it for themselves instead of giving it to charity, so he'd rather trust a complete stranger in another country with an email address he picked at random. About five or six girls with different names sent me the exact same email offering me an extra 2-12 inches. The subjects and bodies of the emails were the same, but the emails had different senders, and different signatures. Oddly enough, only some of them were from hotmail accounts. I've also been getting lots of emails about "free photoshop video tutorials 8hours", which strikes me as odd, because Photoshop can't be used to make videos (just still images), nor do I own Photoshop.

Anyhow, I've pretty much figured out how it all goes together. Using the $1,000,000 that doesn't go to charity, I can buy a copy of photoshop. I will use this, along with the skills learned in the free tutorials, to give myself an extra 2-12 inches (or more, if I want)!

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sestdiena, februāris 18, 2006

Campaign News

Just a brief update, to let you know that the forum has the most recent campaign news. Due to the sensitive nature of the post, I am not posting a new link to the Alex Ludd forums, knowing that the faithful future constituency will know how to get there.


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ceturtdiena, februāris 16, 2006

True Love

For anyone who didn't get enough valentines, I offer this:

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him
sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He
appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he
wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are
you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee."Do you remember 20 years ago when we
were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do," she replies.

The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when
your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"

"Yes, I remember," said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued, "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my
face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for
20 years?"

"I remember that too," she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have gotten out
today."



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svētdiena, februāris 12, 2006

The Future of Technology

Though a good president needs good strategies to beat his opponents, and good plans to keep the country from being bombed, he also needs to keep the economy good. For this reason, I have decided to invest time and money into the latest technologies, in hopes that it will keep the economy good enough for me to get reelected. I've included a list of technologies that I believe will be beneficial, along with explanations of why I chose them.


  • Redtooth - Like Bluetooth, this allows wireless communications. The difference is, since it's red, it goes further, and is less noticable in certain places, such as the circus, or the theatre.

  • USB Floppy Drives - A drive that plugs into a computer's USB port that allows the usage of floppy disks. A single floppy disk holds only 1.4 Megabytes, but due to their inexpensive nature, a person could realistically have several thousand, provided they can store them, thus giving them a few gigabytes in which to put all their important JPGs and MP3s.

  • Medical Science - This will help me recover if, during my term, I am injured. This will take some of the load off of my Vice President's job.

  • PokéFurbyMon - A new combination of Pokémon and Furby, this will sell like hotcakes. I'll make a fortune, and the economy will be saved! Hurrah!

  • Charles in Charge season 2 DVD - Like PokéFurbyMon, this is guaranteed to be a best seller, except for adults. Stated by some guy I met on the street to be the product everyone wants, I'm sure this will sell like hotcakes, thus making me a fortune and saving the economy! Hurrah! (It IS technology, because it's a DVD)

  • Electic StaplerMatic - Basically, it's a stapler that automatically lines up the paper for you and staples it at just the press of a button. It can also sort papers by color, weight, and saturated fat content.

  • Singing Wall Bass - Just what everybody wants, this toy looks remarkably similar to a real fish, and will start singing as soon as you press a button, consider pressing a button, or even notice that there is a button. It also sings if you enter the room. While this product doesn't have MUCH market for deaf people, even they want it to show off their 1337 PHISHING skills.



So basically, technology is where the future is at. The reason I didn't put VCRs on the list, despite their inherent functionality, is because they never stop flashing 12:00. It's driving me crazy.

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