svētdiena, decembris 25, 2005

Amy... charming, lovely, delightful, wise, and brilliant...

... tagged me. She is right, I have not blogged enough. I cannot, for reasons of national security, explain the whole thing, but suffice it to say that being on the run from assassins while attempting to perfect world peace and work out agreements with alien civilizations leaves little time for self promotion.

The meme calls me back to my domestic duties:

Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so:

1. kirk
2. shelly
3. cat
4. amy
5. alex
Then you get to select five people to pass the love on to so they can do this meme, like so:

1. Trixie
2. CaptBinky
3. Gunny Walker
4. EPJ
5. Orange Coffee Gurl
6. Dave

What were you doing 10 years ago?
Suzette. I had to lie about my age, and that's still coming back to haunt me. Cindy, I confess, I used my false age on okcupid; if I were really that young I wouldn't be eligible for president. So of course, I must be 35.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
Sleeping, if I recall correctly.

Five snacks you enjoy:
1. J-(e)L(L)O
2. Hot apple pie.
3. Tacos
4. Burritos
5. Edible Underwear

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:
1. Beethoven's 5th Symphony
2. Hail to the Chief
3. This Old Man
4. Massochism Tango
5. Theme Song to I Love Lucy

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Jennifer Lopez
2. Run for President
3. Buy Slovetsia
4. Create my own theme park, called Luddland. It would feature statues of the faces of all the presidents, including myself. You would enter through the mouth of a giant mural of me, lying in a sexy pose.
5. Free the Genie

Five bad habits:
1. Jennifer's habit of hooking up with the wrong guys.
2. Johnny Depp's habit of forgetting to bathe.
3. The French.
4. My dog's habit of getting too friendly with your leg.
5. Oscar's grouchiness.

Five things you like doing:
1. Jennifer Lopez
2. running for president
3. chasing cars
4. singing C is for Cookie at the mall
5. Negotiating with terrorists

Five things you would never wear again:
1. An underwire bra.
2. Something dug out of Jennifer's trash
3. An "I love N-Sync" tee shirt
4. A diaper
5. Glow perfume, by Jennifer Lopez

Five favorite toys:
1. Dolly, the inflatable sheep
2. Jenny-poo
3. Happy Meal toys
4. Tickle Me Elmo
5. Betsy Wetsy

Good news for Christmas!

Alex Ludd says --

I got three of the things I asked for for Christmas!
When I got the first, I took it.
Thta's when I got the second.
Now the third is jealous.

sestdiena, decembris 24, 2005

Eat my presidential dust!

Alex Ludd says --
I have a Christmas present for all my loyal fans. It's forums. Reach them by clicking here or typing in in your address bar. Also, there's a link to it in the sidebar. Furthermore, you can now reach my blog by typing in if you're bored with my current address, though that will work too.

ceturtdiena, decembris 22, 2005

Dear Santa...

Alex Ludd says --
Dear Santa:
Here is the list of things I want this year. I have been a very good boy this year, I only boxed my sister's ears 2 times this year. I haven't been to jail, either.

  • 45" Plasma HDTV

  • Hilary Duff

  • Deep Impact DVD

  • 13 Inches

  • The Presidency

  • 15 lbs of Skittles

  • Wyoming

  • A 48-month vacation to Wash. DC

  • A $20 gift certificate to Mrs. Fields

  • My own secretary

  • A white house

  • Pokémon season 1 DVD

  • A diploma

  • Mrs. Johnson, my 10th grade English teacher

  • A pair of combat boots

  • Cowboy pajamas

  • A pair of 7-ft-tall bodyguards

  • To be #44

  • A partridge in a pear tree

  • A plate of tacos

  • Viagra

  • A 30 gigapixel digital camera

  • A first lady

  • A new cellphone with a built in 30 gigapixel digital camera

  • A pony

trešdiena, decembris 07, 2005

Foreign Policy

Alex Ludd says -- No good politician can be entirely without foreign policy. Hell, even Carter had foreign policy. So now, I have foreign policy.

1. Australia sucks. Except that crocodile guy. I think we need to get him out of there and then kill their firstborn sons, or at least mail them some torn-up paper-maché and an empty whiskey bottle.

2. Asia is too short. We need new skewed maps that show it to be somewhat taller than it really is.

3. That prince guy from some country I've never heard of that tried to steal my credit card should be reported to Interpol. Then, we throw rocks at him and hope he goes away.