Rudolph the Red-nosed Reigndeer Review

    So we've all probably watched the movie "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reigndeer", right? It's an absolute classic. I've discovered that nobody has done a proper review of it, though. They all seem to add so much plot that wasn't there, so I'm just going to review it beat for beat.

    So Rudolph the Red-nosed Reigndeer is a movie about Rudolph, a reigndeer with a bright red nose. Now, this nose is supposedly so bright that some people may say that it glows, but personally, I think he just had a cold.

    All of the other reigndeer were super toxic towards Rudolph, all because of his stuffy nose. They were all so scared of catching his germs that they wouldn't let him play with them in the official reigndeer games, even though he was allowed in by the official judges and those actually organizing the events.

    But that all changed when, on Christmas eve, Santa Claus decided to talk to one of the kids he's been creepily spying on, and told Rudolph that his nose is so bright it could light up the entire sky. Rudolph, not realizing this was an insult, got super excited, because he thought santa was asking for his help.

    Santa was so amused by this, as well as feeling sorry for Rudolph, that he actually decided to play along with it. He hooked Rudolph up to his sleigh, and attached a flashlight just outside of Rudolph's vision so Rudolph would think he was helping.

    When Rudolph got back to his home, Santa promptly told him not to tell anyone what happened, and Rudolph, being a child, did the exact opposite. He told everyone that he got to help Santa get all the presents to everyone, and because everyone in this universe is extremely shallow, they loved him because he got to help a celebrity. They all told Rudolph that he'd go down in history, and considering the fact that I'm writing this, I'd say he did.

    So, as for my review of it, I would say that Rudolph the Red-nosed Reigndeer is the greatest movie ever made, if only because the song is so catchy.

    Thank you for reading this, and goodnight.

Where have I been?

Now, many of you are hopefully asking "Where has Alex Alexander Ludd been, and why is he only now returning to the blogosphere?" I am, of course, here to answer that question.

I had the flu. Sorry about that.

What I'm looking for in a president

Looking for professional female, under 38 years old, large breasts.

Must have 5 years experience.

Body type doesn't matter.

Single or widowed preferred but divorced okay

Optional: named Jennifer Lopez

Interests include: scrumping within tasteful limits, ornithology, and protecting my intellectual properties to the best of your ability

Please respond with pictures by November 2nd.

My best pleasures

Precipitation on flora and beards on young felines. Bright copper braziers and warm woolen gloves. Brown paper parcels wrapped up in twine, These are some favorite objects of mine. Babes in white togas With blue satin scarves, Frost that stays on my proboscis and mascara, Silver white Januaries That melt into the Paschal seasons, These are my favorite happiness reasons. When the canine chomps, When the wasp stings, When I'm feeling down, I simply remember this stuff that I like And then I'm as happy as a clown. 

 

It is of great importance for you to know this.

As We All Know, There Is, Once Again, An Election For president of the united states Happening Right Now.

Important Announcement

To whom it may concern:

It has come to my attention that the Unites States is having a feud with North Korea. I would like to do anything in my power to help the two countries get over their differences. Now for my announcement:

I will be running for King of North Korea in the upcoming election. I am in need of a running mate currently, preferably an attractive female. If you know anyone that fits that description and would be interested in the position, please call to schedule an interview.

Thank you all for your continued support.


Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

What Girls Are Made of

Eggs
1 teaspoon salt
a bit of vinegar
maybe some potatoes
2 quarts whole milk
1 quart skim milk
Dessert of the gods


Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Chalice of Joy

O joyful Cup!
Cup that gives me strength.
Cup that protects me in my time of need --
What can I do to deserve Thee?
I shall run the race and persevere.
Thou, o Cup that overfloweth with blessing,
Help me to endure.
O Cup that holds this sacred content,
Precious life and passion,
Keep me from harm.
Cover me
When I get kicked in the Nuts.


Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Governmentium the newest element on the Periodic Chart

The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a
new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced
the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new
element has been named Governmentium. Governmentium (Gv) has one
neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant
deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles
are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast
quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium
has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it
impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally
take less than a second to take over four days to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead
undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy
neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's Mass will actually
increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to
become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When
catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element
that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as
many peons but twice as many morons.



Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

some thoughts on foreign policy

Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

An Ode to Cindy

O Wretched heart!
I feel your beat in my breast as I long to suckle hers
Bald, bald! As the nail betrays...
A hope that I'll see her look my way as I hide in her yard
And woe. Dissapointmented. O woe. O woah.
I love from afar, but when I steal a kiss in the night
'tis only a photograph, only a photo taped to her window.
And yonder yet, for her lovely hiney
the hindQuarters of a thoroughbred.
No master of verse, Frost excepted, could kidnap your essence
My hero. J'adore.




Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

A lesson in world history

The two most important events in all of history were the Invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain, and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can was invented yet, so our early human ancestors just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as "the Conservative movement".

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, weaving and hair dressing. Some tried their hand at entertainment. This was the beginning of "the Liberal movement."

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the trade union, class action lawsuits, the invention of group therapy & group hugs and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water.

They eat raw fish but like their beef well done.

Sushi, tofu and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, hairdressers, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented baseball's designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer and eat red meat & potatoes. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, soldiers, self-employed, athletes & generally anyone who works productively outside government.

Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and decide what to do with the production. They also like to take money away from successful people and give it to the failures.

Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tame & created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.

Thus ends today's lesson in world history




Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Only the Brave

And for the critical, here is my nohari window.

Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Praise me, Seymour!

Good news! Now you can share your opinion of me in my Johari Window. Afterwards, my main question will be was it as good for you as it was for me?


Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Believe it or not, I'm finally back!

Here's the situation: Until I'm elected, I need to keep a day job to pay for the campaign. These past few weeks, I've been bogged down with work.


Also, I've noticed that numbers are down. The only solution is to pick them back up. Not in a boyscout/old-lady kind of way, but in a caffiene way. This means advertise. Do your country a favor, and place "Alex Ludd for President" flyers all over your town, workplace, and even the sewers (so the Ninja Turtles see them). I'm going to want photographs in by the end of the month proving you did it.

Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

More Notes to Recent Visitors

1. While I'm no doctor, I don't think it causes blindness. If you're worried about your eyesight (or your tennis elbow, for that matter) I suggest you see a professional about it, not a blog.

2. Although I am hot, I am not a girl. I am not even underage. As a legal disclaimer, let me make perfectly clear that I do not encourage underage pornography.

3. I have never even met your daughter, and am not interested in her that way.

4. Regarding #3 above, let me assure you that I know some very hot women who are not jailbait. My blogroll gives evidence.

5. I do not have the Charles in Charge season DVDs for sale, but I commend you on your taste in viewing.

6. I am not in jail, nor am I romantically involved with anyone in jail. I think I resent your stereotypes about politicians.

7. I seriously doubt your daughter "needs" it.

8. For those who came looking for "hottie," you've come to the right place. When you're finished here, may I also reccomend Cindy's blog?





Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

A note to the recent visitor

A message for the person I spotted recently on my incoming links:
I have neither dog nor webcam. You're wasting your time here.



Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!

Reliable Emails

Recently, I've been getting emails from all sorts of people that I don't know. Some guy in Australia is willing to give me $10 million, as long as 90% goes to charities. Evidently, his family would keep it for themselves instead of giving it to charity, so he'd rather trust a complete stranger in another country with an email address he picked at random. About five or six girls with different names sent me the exact same email offering me an extra 2-12 inches. The subjects and bodies of the emails were the same, but the emails had different senders, and different signatures. Oddly enough, only some of them were from hotmail accounts. I've also been getting lots of emails about "free photoshop video tutorials 8hours", which strikes me as odd, because Photoshop can't be used to make videos (just still images), nor do I own Photoshop.

Anyhow, I've pretty much figured out how it all goes together. Using the $1,000,000 that doesn't go to charity, I can buy a copy of photoshop. I will use this, along with the skills learned in the free tutorials, to give myself an extra 2-12 inches (or more, if I want)!

Come to the official Alex Ludd for President forums to comment on this and other posts, to offer opinions and gossip, and to share your worldview or personal quirks!