What Girls Are Made of

Eggs
1 teaspoon salt
a bit of vinegar
maybe some potatoes
2 quarts whole milk
1 quart skim milk
Dessert of the gods


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Chalice of Joy

O joyful Cup!
Cup that gives me strength.
Cup that protects me in my time of need --
What can I do to deserve Thee?
I shall run the race and persevere.
Thou, o Cup that overfloweth with blessing,
Help me to endure.
O Cup that holds this sacred content,
Precious life and passion,
Keep me from harm.
Cover me
When I get kicked in the Nuts.


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Governmentium the newest element on the Periodic Chart

The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a
new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced
the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new
element has been named Governmentium. Governmentium (Gv) has one
neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant
deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles
are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast
quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium
has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it
impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally
take less than a second to take over four days to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead
undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy
neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's Mass will actually
increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to
become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When
catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element
that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as
many peons but twice as many morons.



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some thoughts on foreign policy

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An Ode to Cindy

O Wretched heart!
I feel your beat in my breast as I long to suckle hers
Bald, bald! As the nail betrays...
A hope that I'll see her look my way as I hide in her yard
And woe. Dissapointmented. O woe. O woah.
I love from afar, but when I steal a kiss in the night
'tis only a photograph, only a photo taped to her window.
And yonder yet, for her lovely hiney
the hindQuarters of a thoroughbred.
No master of verse, Frost excepted, could kidnap your essence
My hero. J'adore.




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